Internet time is now running so fast that I'm already bored with social media sites created by people who haven't been born yet.
Posted via email from McCann
Posts
Showing posts from March, 2010
What's the point of these gun-waving fanatics who hide in their rural compounds, "preparing for the Anti-Christ"?!?! I'm already here.
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Shortcut to perfect dental hygiene: Eat nothing but graphite. Then, brush your teeth with a pencil eraser.
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Everything that Nostradamus predicted? I unpredict it. Ha!
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I should detain, sue, and legally represent myself for proclaiming that free speech should be criminalized and subject to citizen's arrest
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There just isn't enough time in life to get everything done, unless you control an army of networked cyborg slaves
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Pointless inventions #172: Combination hairbrush, peanut-butter knife
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Pointless inventions #149: A self-replicating machine that auto-destructs.
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Trick questions #71: Does this cyanide taste fresh to you? (Why it's a trick: Cyanide doesn't spoil!)
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Idea for an automatic-babysitter: A trampoline made from spiderweb silk.
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I think it's rude that the cameraman is almost never included in the conversation in films
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I'm a teller at a bank but never get ANY customers! I cannot figure out why. My name, by the way, is Window Closed.
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The weather today is like me: kinda hot (but not really).
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Hey, that's how I roll, MF! (Note: MF = Monday-Friday.)
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There is nothing more annoying than the annoyingest thing.
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I sometimes do alternative comedy, in the sense that it's an alternative to comedy.
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OK, I was surfing the web 24/7 anyway with my iPhone, but the iPad's much bigger screen blocks out more people!
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Love my iPad! Now I can tweet, FB, or just surf the web when I'm with family or in any social or work situation!
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Style tip: If you're wearing sunglasses indoors, and you're stumbling into things, take off the glasses. Especially if you're also drunk.
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Until China tears down its Great Wall, the Mongols will never be truly free.
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Tightly belted beige trenchcoat, gray dress slacks, black socks, and silvery running shoes... Just don't do it.
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I might not be perfect, but I'm the best bank-robber I can be.
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The top 24 singers in this season of American Idol were cast based on characters in Lost.
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I think Lost is finally jumping the shark. Yet it's not clear why: Is the shark one of The Others? Had it actually been on Flight 815?
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If I could get paid for awful puns, I'd have a lot of punny by now.
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