[This week's celebrity-guest blogger is Jon Gosselin! Take it away, Jon!] Hi. What's up. I'm committed to making this work.
Posted via email from McCann
Posts
Showing posts from October, 2009
You can log out of Facebook anytime you like, but you can never leave.
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I'm not a scientist, but it's very important to rotate crops in Facebook's Farmville; otherwise, monitor pixels become nutrient-depletient.
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Volunteering to have my pay slashed upwards to no more than $500,000 per annum.
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90% of the time, people on the street talking on cellphones - there's no one on the other line. It's all for show. True for me, anyway.
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Y'know, there were actually two UFO-shaped Mylar balloons launched. But nobody believes it. Great views up here, though.
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OK, A-Rod, I guess you can stay on the team. For now.
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I've got an extra cross-country bus pass to follow Kate Gosselin on her book-signing tour -- any takers? #textthatgetnoreply
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Physicists estimate at least 10^10^10^7 universes in the multiverse, given quantum fluctuations. That's a LOT of Facebook status updates.
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I think being stuck in a time loop isn't so bad, as long you're not stuck in a time loop where you remember being stuck in a time loop.
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Mathematically speaking, 1 Times Square should change its address to just Square.
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No offense to anyone, but to me the musician Prince always seemed like he was from Minneapolis.
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I still believe that no artists other than Phil Collins or Genesis have truly explored the themes of sussudio and abacab.
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If I could control a person's thoughts, I'd make them think exactly what they would think anyway. It's a win-win.
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Nobel committee chairman explains why they gave Obama the Peace Prize: http://bit.ly/hcUe
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Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have grated cheese thrust upon them at restaurants.
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Just announced: I've won the prestigious Nobel Packet of Swedish Fish Prize! A delicious victory.
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Very excited! At work, they're installing a vending machine for Nobel Peace Prizes.
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As a kid, when I won the Nobel Prize for Internet Quips, people said: What's the Internet? They don't ask now. About the Internet, that is.
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Congratulations to President Obama (he can use a win right about now).
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Let's cut to the chase and just sell the United States to China.
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If you must text while walking down stairs in the subway station, during rush hour, please don't suddenly stop. Like I'm doing right now.
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All I ask for is a personalized, custom-made version of the United States.
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Some think the high murder rate in Chicago contributed to its losing the Olympics. Right, because the streets of Rio are so much safer.
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I think it makes sense to combine a cordless phone with a TV remote control, as it would be easier to surf channels while I don't listen.
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Given ongoing lack of content and desire to drive mindshare, my posts are going "mindlessly cute": eg, Fuzzy baby bunny in one-button vest.
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In polite society, it is more proper to say: That's what he, or she, or other said.
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Before the Blackberry and the iPhone, people didn't know what to do while riding in elevators or standing in line. Or at least I didn't.
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Hi... uh... hang on... whoa!... Anyway - sorry I'm separately texting while I'm writing this, and uh... I forget. So will get back 2 U l8r
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I actually get PAID to update my status on Facebook! Cuz I do it while at work. (If my boss is somehow reading this: just kidding!)
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